Paying Respects

I got to speak at my grandmother's service. It was an honor. Here's what I said, while the Pastor held up the painting.


I’m Dannah, Judy’s granddaughter. Judy was very dear to me. I learned so much from her, including how to paint. I love art, and she is the person who taught me. She gave me my passion in life.

This is a painting she did of me and my brother Paul. It is dated 1979, So she painted it when we were that size. About 10 years ago, she gave me the painting and told me the significance of it. It is of us, and symbolizes us going forward into the future. I am rushing ahead, and Paul is holding back a little, but I’m pulling him along. I do tend to dive into everything, and Paul was a bit more timid as a child. He's more careful than I am a lot of the time.

The clouds on the horizon symbolize our future. The sky is not clear and sunny, or dark and stormy, but yellow. She said the clouds are yellow because when there are yellow clouds the weather is uncertain and it is a bit ominous, but not necessarily bad. She was worried for us, as we approached our lives.

There is a break in the clouds toward the top of the painting. She said that was the part of the sky she would watch over us through, and the sky between her and us would always be clear.

I have had this painting hanging by my bed since I got it. I look at it every night before I go to bed, and think about the story she told me of the painting. I am so grateful to have had her looking out for me all these years, because I have needed it! I know she looked after all of us when she was alive. Now she has the better view, watching over her family and friends. I couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather have watching over me.

Remembering Judy

My grandmother Judy passed away this morning. She was 94. She was an amazing woman.

We called her Judy, which was her nickname. Her real name was Jewell. She has such a great story, which sometime I hope to have the time to sit down and really write about. I can't do it justice on a blog post. Born in 1914, she lived through it all; through the depression, the world wars, on into this time. She never lost her mental awareness, even up to a couple of months ago when she was here during hurricane Ike. She had been evacuated from her home and had to spend a couple of weeks with us here. I am very thankful for that time, even though it came out of a disaster. She told me on that visit that she was ready to go. That she was looking forward to it even, in a grateful way. She died happy with a large family legacy. She was with my father, her only child. She had had trouble having children, so he was her gift in life. She got to know her 6 grandchildren and her 4 great- grandchildren and got to see us all doing well.

My grandmother gave me so much. She's the one who taught me how to paint, how to cook, took me to Sunday school at her church, watched me for weeks during the summer, and most of all she was always there in my corner, and truly recognized my life's struggles. She knew me well, probably because I'm a lot like her in many ways. Different but of the same make I think. She always told me "You wouldn't be afraid of the Devil himself if you met him." She thought I needed to be more careful. She was right of course. She was a smart, independent woman, especially for having grown up when she did,. She had a graduate degree, a career in teaching, didn't marry until she was 27. She lived on her own for a decade before marrying, which was against the norm for her era. She also had a very funny, dry sense of humor. And at her age, she had learned she could get away with saying whatever was on her mind. She earned that right for sure.

She was independent and strong but nurturing, and I loved her very much. And I always knew she loved me too. I will miss her greatly.

Waiting for this year's D*** in a Box. Funny video that is!!

Tax me.

I should start off by saying I'm nowhere near the $250.000 mark that may see an increase in taxes. At least 2.5 times less than that bracket. So, I might feel different if I were, but I don't think so. I'm not directing this at anyone personally, so don't be offended at what I'm about to say. It's just my view of things.

O.K., I am not in the "wealthy" bracket, but I consider myself very well off. Sure, there are times when we really have to cut back, sometimes bills are paid late, I'm dropping out of Big Christmas shopping this year, vacations are rare, etc., but my family's needs are met. We have a house. We have health insurance, 2 cars, food on the table. I live in a good neighborhood, my kids go to good public schools. And yes, we pay taxes too. I'm not judging anyone for not wanting to share their wealth. I can be very frugal, a nice word for cheap. I'm not someone who gives money away easily. It gives me anxiety to donate to church, charities, etc. I have to force myself to do it. After I do it's fine, but working up to it while thinking of all the things I can do with it instead can be difficult. Even then, I choose which programs to donate to rather than letting someone else do it. It's a defect of mine & I'm working on it.

So I come to taxes, which could be compared to tithing to a church or donating except it's required. But for some reason taxes don't bother me. Maybe because I don't have to physically hand it over, it's done for me. But, I recognize that it's necessary. I think that people don't realize where taxes go. On the blogs it seems like wealthy people just don't want to support poor people because they're lazy, looking for handouts and entitlements. I won't even get into helping the less fortunate argument here. I just want to make a case for why I think it's good to pay taxes. By paying taxes you're not just supporting the very poorest. There are a lot of people affected. A lot of people who make far less than my family does, who are educated hard workers too. They have chosen to have a career that makes less, this is true, but they are absolutely necessary to our society. Far more than most. And some of those people need food stamps, help with medical bills, and other necessities. Here are the people that earn their salaries through tax dollars. And I should mention that these people are taxed as well.

Military
Teachers
Police
Firefighters
Paramedics- all 911 personell
gov. employees, aka DPS, DOT workers
social workers
Garbage men/ women
Postmen/ women

Things taxes pay for:

War. During WWII people pitched in and made sacrifices. War is more than just soldiers and their families. They make the ultimate sacrifice, but the rest of us need to understand that war isn't free.

Medicare for elderly. My generation (X) as well as the next will have to care for the largest group of elders, the boomers, who not only are many in number but they'll outlive all previous generations. My 94 y/o grandmother is living off of her SS and Medicare and that reduces a major burden on my family. That's just one example; I don't take it for granted. We need to get that taken care of before it's too late.

again, all 911 services
Roads
Waste removal- trash & recycling
Public Schools
Jails
animal control
national parks
disaster relief
Libraries


Well those are some examples that aren't handouts. Those are services we pay for, through our tax dollars. Most of these workers fall into the lower tax brackets, lower than mine, and I think they deserve a bigger break than me. They are doing the work that makes everything run so the rest of us can go pursue our American dreams.

I've been poor, and now I'm doing well. In my experience it costs much more to be poor. You have to make payments for everything instead of buying it outright, and are charged higher interest. If you can get a loan at all. You have bad health insurance that doesn't cover much. Checks bounce and you get snowballing fees. It all starts adding up and get out of control very easily. And this is just the bare minimum, I'm not talking about irresponsible spending. I'm talking about groceries and transportation and an apartment. When I was a paramedic I made $27,000 a year. That was considered good, I worked for a private company. It was 8 yrs ago, but it wasn't a lot then either.

So, if you're making $250.000 a year and get taxed you'll still be well off. For real, it'll be fine. It'll work itself out, prices will adjust to demand. We have a major recession and it wasn't high taxes that got us there. You'll still have money to shop and stuff. Just think of it as supporting your way of life in civilization as opposed to giving it away. Most of it doesn't go to handouts.

Yo-Bama!

I have to write a post post election, since history has been made and all. I am happy, as everyone knows I'm a pretty big Obama fan. I'm happy that he won, but not happy because the other team lost. McCain had 48% pop vote, so it wasn't a landslide popularity wise.

I won't say I voted for Obama because he's black, but I am glad he is. It is time for this to happen. Past time. Just like I wouldn't have voted for Hilary, (or to be certain, Sarah Palin) just because she's a woman. But I would've been glad to see a woman in office happen too.

My son asked me today why all the "TV guys" were calling Obama's win history. I'm not even sure he knows what history is, but he heard it enough to ask. I told him it's because Obama's the first "brown guy" to be President. My kids don't even say black or white. They say brown, kinda brown, tan, and pink. My daughter's the pink one. She's really pale and gets pink playing outside when it's warm. I didn't teach them this. They all came up with it. The group on the street is very blended, and my kids' best friends right now are black, white, hispanic, middle-eastern, and mixed. The next-door neighbor kids who are the same ages as mine are black with a white grandmother. I watch 2 kids after school, one hispanic and one black/white mixed, who were adopted by their parents who are hispanic and white. My son's longest standing friend is half Mexican, half white/asian. He also had a "girlfriend" last year that is Indian. And I live in a North Texas suburb. My kids absolutely have no awareness of racial problems yet. But they are young, early elementary aged. I hope it will continue.

So my son's response to Obama being the first "brown" president was "He's not that brown. He's kinda brown." And the discussion was over. He went on playing with his legos. One of the pundits, I saw so many last night I don't remember who, said last night that the face of America is changing and it's not just about "Joe the Plumber". It's true. Joe the Plumber is a fine face, but there are a lot of others that are in the game.

This is a big deal. My younger brother who's 19 commented on facebook a sarcastic remark about should he be cheering for Obama's white half. He's not racist. I think he voted for Obama. I guess he doesn't get it as much as older people do. He grew up in a time where it was much more equal than I did, even just being 17 years apart. My generation grew up watching the reruns of All in the Family, Good Times, The Jeffersons, etc to be followed by The Cosby Show, Fresh Prince and those shows. I'm ashamed to admit it, but the most I learned about slavery was from the miniseries "Roots". That's all I knew about black people. I had heard of their struggle, was upset by it and thought it was horrible, but didn't know any personally. I don't even think we had Black history at my school. If we did I don't remember, I was a terrible student. I went to high school in a nice neighborhood in Dallas with no minorities. I'm not kidding. None. Black people were foreign to me until I left home. As well as hispanic, asian, anyone but white. I have higher hopes for my kids. I told him he should cheer for both halves of Obama. I am.

Carol Howard Merrit wrote a good blog on the subject of raising kids who don't know much about racism here.

So, we can be proud, not just because he's African American but be glad that he is. I think he deserves it. But you all knew that.