Close Call

I was going down the Tollway today when a car ahead of me started swerving around, hit the median, and flipped over in front of me. I was able to slam on the brakes and stop a few feet from his car before crashing into it, and luckily the person behind me was able to stop in time too. It's been 8 years since I worked as a paramedic, but it all came back really fast. The guy was conscious, and seemed to be ok, I was telling him to just stay still that I'd called 911 when another guys topped who was a nurse, and had all his medical tools with him because he was home health, then the next woman who stopped was a Doctor. Weird. It was not that guy's time. Then another guy stopped, who was a chaplain, saying that was his second overturned vehicle he witnessed today where the driver ended up ok. The drive ended up not even going to the hospital, and he just had a small cut on his leg. Made for an exciting ride home. I am thanking the good lord today.

still painting, almost done

The picture makes it look so small. It's really 8' long. It is almost, almost done. I may have to just call it quits soon.

animal house.

I love my dog. But my dog attacked our kitten and killed it. It was not an accident, I saw her lunge across the room and bite the cat's neck, tearing his jugular. The cat died instantly. It was shocking. I frequently have small children over so now I know I can't keep the dog. She's never hurt a kid, or even come close, but after what I saw I know I can't trust her reactions. This morning was terrible, I had to tell the kids. I just said Sassy wasn't gentle with the kitty and it died, and Sassy has to go live in a house where there's no cat. I'm so sad, losing 2 animals at once. Especially Sassy. She's been a good dog, it tears me up. But, like I said with small kids around, mine and others', I just can't keep her. Rough day.

excerpt from homeless book- rough draft preachin'

"Paul, why don't you sleep at the shelter?" I asked.

Paul won't stay in a shelter. He says it's not safe.

"It's a new world order." Sometimes Paul is really clever. "And I got asthma real bad, and I can't be around all that smoke. And I'm waitin' on a miracle to happen, and a miracle ain't gonna happen in a shelter."

"What kind of miracle?" I ask.

"A good lookin' woman might wanna adopt me." he laughs. "That's what I wanta happen."

And I thought he was going to say something deep. Silly me.

I can see why he thinks it's not safe. Recently I went with a friend down to the Bridge, the new homeless shelter, for lunch. It's an impressive effort. But I think the problem is being looked at in the wrong way. By lumping everyone together we ARE creating a new world order. A lot of these people have problems getting along in society as it stands, and we want to throw them all together in a hot, loud, crowded place. The atmosphere was very tense. I even felt myself getting agitated there. There were just so many people in one place, many of whom are in a different state of mind. There was a lot of yelling and fighting. Everyone was congregated under a roof where people camp out. I know the service is a good one, and it will help many people, but I don't really see it as getting all of those people off the streets. It does get some people off of the streets, there are some dorms but there's limited space. I guess it keeps the homeless away from us, the society, so we don't have to see them on the street. Or deal with them as much.

From what I've heard from many of the residents it seems like there's a lot of fear involved with the institutional aspect of it all. One person I spoke with, who wishes to remain anonymous and declined a formal interview, was telling me about how he left because he believes the government is abducting people from the shelter and harvesting organs from them. He believes this is being done under the shelter in a basement. A major supporting argument he has is the amount of money spent on the project, $26,000,000.00 I believe is what he cites as the amount.

"Think about it." He said. "Who better for them to use than the homeless people."

Now, granted, these are not the thoughts of a healthy person. But, there are so many cases of mental illness in the homeless population. Far more than are diagnosed, because so many of them just won't see a doctor or take psychiatric medication. There's a lot of paranoia.

It would be so easy to approach this problem solely from a medical standpoint. Of course, a lot of the mentally ill are sick. Of course, it would be best if they could be on medication and live a somewhat "normal" existence. But what do we do when we don't have the ability to make that happen? The government is left with the responsibility, and by it's design, the government cannot give personalized care and assess each situation individually. It is not the place of the government to love and nurture it's citizens. So in the absence of an in-between policy, where the mentally ill are either on disability and being medically treated, and the ones who are too scared but well enough to refuse treatment so they just stay homeless, there is a lack of response to the problem.

In my opinion, that is the perfect place for the church to come in. No, we cannot make them sane. We cannot make them take medication, nor can we diagnose. We cannot always make them employable. We can offer services, but we can't expect them all to take our suggestions. We can't take them into our homes. Well, technically we could but I sure am not planning on doing that. I would have to know a person very, very well to do that and at this point I'm not ready. We can give them food and supplies, which we do, but that doesn't keep them from being homeless. The question is, why do we need them to fit into our lifestyle in order for us to think that helping them is worth our time? And what does it mean to help them?

A good place to start is just by getting to know them, during volunteer hours. By talking to them, and by adopting the same interaction that we would have with anyone else. Ask them about their day, what they're working on, have them tell you their story. Think about how it fells when people are interested in what you do. Help them feel that.

In doing this, we're going to find people who have made a lot of mistakes. There's going to be people who we think should have seen their situation coming and done something to change it. There's going to be people we think should be able to change it, who we think should just stop being lazy and get a job. There's going to be people who we believe have chosen this lifestyle, as many have. There's going to be people with alcohol and drug problems. And we're going to feel like we can't solve their problems.

The good news is, I believe, that it's not our job to solve their problems. Only they and God can do that. When we are serving and volunteering with the homeless, we are serving God, not the people. Hopefully we will be of some help, but we have to realize that it's not for our benefit. It's not so we get to turn someone's life around. We may get to see them do it, hopefully, but it can't be a personal investment. I'm not even sure that it's our only duty to give them things like food, clothing and shelter. We can get to know them on a human level, and show them that we understand that they're people just like us. And most of all, to accept them as they are, in the situation they are in at the time.

There is a lot of institutional help at this time. Many of them won't take it. As a church we can create a different environment. We can have a more relaxed, relatively calm, organic surrounding where people will not feel as threatened. Now, I'm not talking about having separate services for homeless poor people either. We should do our best to get them into the services we already have. They spend enough time separate from our society as it is. Church should be a place they can come and be fine. Really though, the church service is not where we're going to find them. We have to go to them tell them we're here. And the best way to do that is to volunteer, get to know them, encourage them and invite them, without worrying about the cost.