Helloooooo......

I haven't been writing lately, but I will again (in case you've missed me!)I've got plenty rolling around in my head but I've been kinda busy. See you soon!

Dannah

Paying Respects

I got to speak at my grandmother's service. It was an honor. Here's what I said, while the Pastor held up the painting.


I’m Dannah, Judy’s granddaughter. Judy was very dear to me. I learned so much from her, including how to paint. I love art, and she is the person who taught me. She gave me my passion in life.

This is a painting she did of me and my brother Paul. It is dated 1979, So she painted it when we were that size. About 10 years ago, she gave me the painting and told me the significance of it. It is of us, and symbolizes us going forward into the future. I am rushing ahead, and Paul is holding back a little, but I’m pulling him along. I do tend to dive into everything, and Paul was a bit more timid as a child. He's more careful than I am a lot of the time.

The clouds on the horizon symbolize our future. The sky is not clear and sunny, or dark and stormy, but yellow. She said the clouds are yellow because when there are yellow clouds the weather is uncertain and it is a bit ominous, but not necessarily bad. She was worried for us, as we approached our lives.

There is a break in the clouds toward the top of the painting. She said that was the part of the sky she would watch over us through, and the sky between her and us would always be clear.

I have had this painting hanging by my bed since I got it. I look at it every night before I go to bed, and think about the story she told me of the painting. I am so grateful to have had her looking out for me all these years, because I have needed it! I know she looked after all of us when she was alive. Now she has the better view, watching over her family and friends. I couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather have watching over me.

Remembering Judy

My grandmother Judy passed away this morning. She was 94. She was an amazing woman.

We called her Judy, which was her nickname. Her real name was Jewell. She has such a great story, which sometime I hope to have the time to sit down and really write about. I can't do it justice on a blog post. Born in 1914, she lived through it all; through the depression, the world wars, on into this time. She never lost her mental awareness, even up to a couple of months ago when she was here during hurricane Ike. She had been evacuated from her home and had to spend a couple of weeks with us here. I am very thankful for that time, even though it came out of a disaster. She told me on that visit that she was ready to go. That she was looking forward to it even, in a grateful way. She died happy with a large family legacy. She was with my father, her only child. She had had trouble having children, so he was her gift in life. She got to know her 6 grandchildren and her 4 great- grandchildren and got to see us all doing well.

My grandmother gave me so much. She's the one who taught me how to paint, how to cook, took me to Sunday school at her church, watched me for weeks during the summer, and most of all she was always there in my corner, and truly recognized my life's struggles. She knew me well, probably because I'm a lot like her in many ways. Different but of the same make I think. She always told me "You wouldn't be afraid of the Devil himself if you met him." She thought I needed to be more careful. She was right of course. She was a smart, independent woman, especially for having grown up when she did,. She had a graduate degree, a career in teaching, didn't marry until she was 27. She lived on her own for a decade before marrying, which was against the norm for her era. She also had a very funny, dry sense of humor. And at her age, she had learned she could get away with saying whatever was on her mind. She earned that right for sure.

She was independent and strong but nurturing, and I loved her very much. And I always knew she loved me too. I will miss her greatly.

Waiting for this year's D*** in a Box. Funny video that is!!

Tax me.

I should start off by saying I'm nowhere near the $250.000 mark that may see an increase in taxes. At least 2.5 times less than that bracket. So, I might feel different if I were, but I don't think so. I'm not directing this at anyone personally, so don't be offended at what I'm about to say. It's just my view of things.

O.K., I am not in the "wealthy" bracket, but I consider myself very well off. Sure, there are times when we really have to cut back, sometimes bills are paid late, I'm dropping out of Big Christmas shopping this year, vacations are rare, etc., but my family's needs are met. We have a house. We have health insurance, 2 cars, food on the table. I live in a good neighborhood, my kids go to good public schools. And yes, we pay taxes too. I'm not judging anyone for not wanting to share their wealth. I can be very frugal, a nice word for cheap. I'm not someone who gives money away easily. It gives me anxiety to donate to church, charities, etc. I have to force myself to do it. After I do it's fine, but working up to it while thinking of all the things I can do with it instead can be difficult. Even then, I choose which programs to donate to rather than letting someone else do it. It's a defect of mine & I'm working on it.

So I come to taxes, which could be compared to tithing to a church or donating except it's required. But for some reason taxes don't bother me. Maybe because I don't have to physically hand it over, it's done for me. But, I recognize that it's necessary. I think that people don't realize where taxes go. On the blogs it seems like wealthy people just don't want to support poor people because they're lazy, looking for handouts and entitlements. I won't even get into helping the less fortunate argument here. I just want to make a case for why I think it's good to pay taxes. By paying taxes you're not just supporting the very poorest. There are a lot of people affected. A lot of people who make far less than my family does, who are educated hard workers too. They have chosen to have a career that makes less, this is true, but they are absolutely necessary to our society. Far more than most. And some of those people need food stamps, help with medical bills, and other necessities. Here are the people that earn their salaries through tax dollars. And I should mention that these people are taxed as well.

Military
Teachers
Police
Firefighters
Paramedics- all 911 personell
gov. employees, aka DPS, DOT workers
social workers
Garbage men/ women
Postmen/ women

Things taxes pay for:

War. During WWII people pitched in and made sacrifices. War is more than just soldiers and their families. They make the ultimate sacrifice, but the rest of us need to understand that war isn't free.

Medicare for elderly. My generation (X) as well as the next will have to care for the largest group of elders, the boomers, who not only are many in number but they'll outlive all previous generations. My 94 y/o grandmother is living off of her SS and Medicare and that reduces a major burden on my family. That's just one example; I don't take it for granted. We need to get that taken care of before it's too late.

again, all 911 services
Roads
Waste removal- trash & recycling
Public Schools
Jails
animal control
national parks
disaster relief
Libraries


Well those are some examples that aren't handouts. Those are services we pay for, through our tax dollars. Most of these workers fall into the lower tax brackets, lower than mine, and I think they deserve a bigger break than me. They are doing the work that makes everything run so the rest of us can go pursue our American dreams.

I've been poor, and now I'm doing well. In my experience it costs much more to be poor. You have to make payments for everything instead of buying it outright, and are charged higher interest. If you can get a loan at all. You have bad health insurance that doesn't cover much. Checks bounce and you get snowballing fees. It all starts adding up and get out of control very easily. And this is just the bare minimum, I'm not talking about irresponsible spending. I'm talking about groceries and transportation and an apartment. When I was a paramedic I made $27,000 a year. That was considered good, I worked for a private company. It was 8 yrs ago, but it wasn't a lot then either.

So, if you're making $250.000 a year and get taxed you'll still be well off. For real, it'll be fine. It'll work itself out, prices will adjust to demand. We have a major recession and it wasn't high taxes that got us there. You'll still have money to shop and stuff. Just think of it as supporting your way of life in civilization as opposed to giving it away. Most of it doesn't go to handouts.

Yo-Bama!

I have to write a post post election, since history has been made and all. I am happy, as everyone knows I'm a pretty big Obama fan. I'm happy that he won, but not happy because the other team lost. McCain had 48% pop vote, so it wasn't a landslide popularity wise.

I won't say I voted for Obama because he's black, but I am glad he is. It is time for this to happen. Past time. Just like I wouldn't have voted for Hilary, (or to be certain, Sarah Palin) just because she's a woman. But I would've been glad to see a woman in office happen too.

My son asked me today why all the "TV guys" were calling Obama's win history. I'm not even sure he knows what history is, but he heard it enough to ask. I told him it's because Obama's the first "brown guy" to be President. My kids don't even say black or white. They say brown, kinda brown, tan, and pink. My daughter's the pink one. She's really pale and gets pink playing outside when it's warm. I didn't teach them this. They all came up with it. The group on the street is very blended, and my kids' best friends right now are black, white, hispanic, middle-eastern, and mixed. The next-door neighbor kids who are the same ages as mine are black with a white grandmother. I watch 2 kids after school, one hispanic and one black/white mixed, who were adopted by their parents who are hispanic and white. My son's longest standing friend is half Mexican, half white/asian. He also had a "girlfriend" last year that is Indian. And I live in a North Texas suburb. My kids absolutely have no awareness of racial problems yet. But they are young, early elementary aged. I hope it will continue.

So my son's response to Obama being the first "brown" president was "He's not that brown. He's kinda brown." And the discussion was over. He went on playing with his legos. One of the pundits, I saw so many last night I don't remember who, said last night that the face of America is changing and it's not just about "Joe the Plumber". It's true. Joe the Plumber is a fine face, but there are a lot of others that are in the game.

This is a big deal. My younger brother who's 19 commented on facebook a sarcastic remark about should he be cheering for Obama's white half. He's not racist. I think he voted for Obama. I guess he doesn't get it as much as older people do. He grew up in a time where it was much more equal than I did, even just being 17 years apart. My generation grew up watching the reruns of All in the Family, Good Times, The Jeffersons, etc to be followed by The Cosby Show, Fresh Prince and those shows. I'm ashamed to admit it, but the most I learned about slavery was from the miniseries "Roots". That's all I knew about black people. I had heard of their struggle, was upset by it and thought it was horrible, but didn't know any personally. I don't even think we had Black history at my school. If we did I don't remember, I was a terrible student. I went to high school in a nice neighborhood in Dallas with no minorities. I'm not kidding. None. Black people were foreign to me until I left home. As well as hispanic, asian, anyone but white. I have higher hopes for my kids. I told him he should cheer for both halves of Obama. I am.

Carol Howard Merrit wrote a good blog on the subject of raising kids who don't know much about racism here.

So, we can be proud, not just because he's African American but be glad that he is. I think he deserves it. But you all knew that.

Depression?

Things I've been thinking about- in case we are going to be in a depression. I'm assuming we get to keep our home...

I have a yard with enough space for a small garden and a chicken coop.
In case the gas goes out- I have a bbq! Fire is free. Can always boil water over a fire. Will have to find a way to get wood.
My house doesn't really get too cold in the winter- we can all share a bed.
I DON"T have a gun, but I'm thinking of getting one, to scare the coyotes out of my chicken coop. And to shoot the chickens. And rabbits. There are lots of rabbits around here.
Rice and beans store well, don't need a fridge!
I THINK I can survive w/out a/c. It'll suck, but it probably won't kill us.
I could fit at least one more family in my house.
I'm a big fan of bartering.

But before we get to that, this is what I think could happen...

We can drive our cars until they die.
We can live in our homes and not "trade up".
We can wear our clothes until they have holes in them.
We can eat leftovers & cook food at home.
We can age naturally with no plastic surgery & people could keep the noses & bodies they have.
Kids could get toys on their birthdays & Christmas only.
We'll learn how to fix things.
We can keep our appliances until they can't be fixed.
We can barter!!!


Finally, my cheap ways will be en vogue!!

Wag the Pig

Last blog on the subject for at least 1 week, then I'll put an *old fish* in it. I am a busy person. I'm a mom. I do a lot of neat stuff. ;-) I don't have time to blog about politics. Well obviously I do but it's at the expense of clean laundry, home, sleep, productive writing, painting, you get the idea.

This election is exciting but I'm uneasy. I'm decided, as I am very open about. I don't think I'm a kool-aid drinker. I'm not completely sold but I'm not quite at the lesser of two evils point that I was at at the last election. I still like Obama. I think he's in a very touchy situation. On one hand he can't be too tough, or he's sexist. He can't appear defensive about race, everyone is just waiting on that to happen. On the other he has to be tough because the Reps are constantly trying to make him look weak. His target is way more open than Palin's at this point. They have been throwing zingers at him for days. I actually think the pig in lipstick comment wasn't an accident, but intended... not so much as an insult to Palin directly but an attempt to elicit a response. It's a gamble but it may work for him. After all, I think we all knew Hilary wore lipstick when McCain said the same phrase about her health care policy, which is already common knowledge. It is working, I just don't know if it will be appreciated.


Enough of my left leaning. I respect that not everyone will agree with me. But this is what I want to get at...

It's a nasty game. I am a woman. And a mom. I am very pro-women in the White House. I am in total disagreement with this kid- glove treatment of Palin. I'm still waiting to see this media out-lash at her. I know it happened a little with the pregnant daughter, which she shouldn't be judged on, but come on. ALL the president's and vice president's families are subject to this. She knows that. It's not because she's a woman. Do we not know all about the other candidate's families? I really don't see anything unfair happening. In 8 weeks, this woman could be VICE PRESIDENT of the most powerful country in the world. She could very well end up being THE PRESIDENT. Do people not get this? She's not a movie star. We should know her. We know everyone the other candidates have ever talked to by this point. I think that's the main reason I'm leery. The others have been scrutinized for at least the last few years. They worked up to this for years, with the intention of running for president all along. I know Obama, McCain, Biden, Hilary, Leiberman, Edwards, etc. Faults and all. I'm a follower of politics. I know the least about Biden but the information is accessible, and I'm not being sexist if I want to know it.

I want to know what her beliefs are. I want to hear her say it. I want to know the whole story of all these "tough decisions" she's had to make. The governor thing buys me no comfort. Bush was Governor of my own great state for years AND his father was President. I want to know about the church she goes to. I did about Obama too. I didn't agree with Jeramiah Wright, but I know about it and I can make a decision. I want to know about war and security. And not just that I'll be protected by war. I want to know about our relationships with other countries. I want to know if I'm going to have to have a rapist's child if that were to happen. I want to know if my life were compromised by a pregnancy if my two young children would have risk losing their mother. (Not saying here what I'd do in such situations- that's not the point.) I do want to know though. And those are extreme examples. But no abortion debate here. I just want to hear her explain it.

I grew up with Hilary. I've known about McCain for years. I've read two books by Obama, and while they might only be "memoirs", I've had 4 years to learn about him. I don't trust any of them 100%. But I can't trust McCain enough to pick the next President. I'm not betting on him dying, but it really could happen. It could happen to any President. That's why VP IS IMPORTANT. Really important. I would want to know from any candidate for VP.

I'm not saying she's incapable either. I just think the scrutiny is very, very understandable. I may get my answers soon, but I can't see how someone who's only been in the game for 10 days has so many followers. Wake up people! Get over the sound-bytes and really be informed. Nobody will be perfect, and you won't ever know all the facts. But don't just vote for someone because they're a mom like you, or black like you, or conservative or Liberal or Christian like you. Think about things and how they might work in relation to the whole world. Then base your vote on that.

I'm really not trying to sway your vote but I am concerned with the Palin fever. It has a much faster incubation point than Obama fever, and appears to be more deadly. (At least to me :)

Caught In My Own Hypocrisy.

I have a dirty secret, some of you know but many of you don't. I sneak cigarettes. I used to be a smoker, before having kids, and while I wouldn't call myself a full- fledged smoker, it happens. Lately, it's been happening too often. I have to stop. I wonder if I will struggle with this addiction for the rest of my life. I think it's over then it pops up... stress, boredom, I can think of any reason usually.

Smoking isn't illegal. People smoke. I really don't think that much of it. I know it's bad, like everyone does. I grew up around it, and it has always been in my life in one way or another. The thing is, I'm halfway in the closet. I'm a sneaker. I don't smoke around the kids, or around most people, and I have my set "situations" where I find it acceptable. I guess it's called social smoking. Only with other smokers of course. That's my rationale.

Well, the other day my son came home from a friends house smelling like smoke. I was appalled. He said the grandmother was was smoking. The grandmother is living there now, and it is certainly her business. I know in the previous generations it wasn't seen as a big deal. Many of my relatives smoked around me. Good Christian people. :) In the house and in the car. I remember making ash trays in ceramics class before I even was old enough to think about smoking. I had my first cigarette in the mall. Right out in the open. And we smoked in the girl's bathroom and never got in trouble for it at school. But those were different times. Gladly.

So my son told his friend the reason he can't go over there anymore is because his grandmother was smoking in the house. It was sad to hear, I walked in on them talking about it. I never told Jameson why, but he knew because I freaked out about him smelling like smoke. I told the boy he can come over anytime instead. He was upset though, and he first he told me she doesn't do it. Here begins the lie... Then he said "But the windows are open." and "I don't know why she has to do that." It's sad when a six- year old has to make excuses. And, you see, I have shared a cigarette with his mom before, who isn't an inside smoker and doesn't do it around her kids either. So, she had the same rules as me. But she knows I do it. I am a total hypocrite. But, I definitely won't let my kids back over there, that's not the hypocrisy. That's just protection. But, how can I talk the talk and not walk it? It's only a matter of time before my kids catch on. I have to end it now...

So I'm airing out my secret on the web, for all to see. I'm not proud, but if it's out in the open I can't hide. I probably wasn't fooling anyone anyway.

I can't wait until Nov.

Mainly because I want this election to be over!!! It's taking up too much of my time. I can't stop watching news channels (and I'm not really that into news channels, really) I'm even decided, so I really could stop watching and move on. I as I said before, I'm for Obama. I'm just liberal by nature. I try to consider Republican candidates to be fair, but I just think I'm more socially minded. And that since I've been an adult, it just seems like Democratic administrations do a lot better. I've only really paid attention though Clinton & Bush. Not that I even think the world is going to be be that much better... but at least I can "hope".


That said I like McCain. I always have. He's likeable. He's a hero, and he seems like a very good man. I think he'd be a good president, just in a different time. It's very hard to dislike him though.

Palin on the other hand, I just don't get what the big deal is. IS it because she's a woman that has stirred up all of this hoo- ha? I guess it is. I so want to like a woman in office. People like her more than McCain!!! But I just don't agree with her views. And her speech was ok, delivery wise, but it wasn't particularly moving. It was mostly just jabs at Obama. And I don't think they were warranted. To make fun of community organizing is ignorant, as well as making fun of the columns. She was making light of a tribute to MLK made on the anniversary of the "I have a dream" speech. By the first black nominee for president. I never think that ridicule makes a person look better than their rival.

From what I've heard, she's tried to get books banned from a public library because she didn't like them, is anti sex ed, in favor for abstinance only, (I don't think it's related to the campaign, but 17 is awfully young. Birth control does work most of the time...) As far as abortion, I do think soon the argument will be as arcane as the procedure, but it will be only if all women have access to health care & education. I'm all about prevention. She sued to have polar bears taken off the endangered list to help further drilling, for the love! Well if you're interested in knowing about who might be president soon you know these things. McCain isn't young, and Palin is not, from what I can tell, ready for presidency.

I can only wait for Nov. and vote. I doubt Obama will get Texas. We're way too into kicking ass here, as well as drilling for oil. Our urban areas are seriously segregated, and will probably stay that way. And we're hell on the environment. Palin will be well recieved here.